this-sucksSearching for: a WHAT?

TimestampContext
25/07/2017 22:55:29Written whilst in a queue, onna phone.
25/07/2017 22:55:29They stood in the queue. Bags of fresh literature in their arms, they waited.
25/07/2017 22:55:29They had waited years for this moment. Years to meet the creator of their theoretical hero, the guide of 500-page adventures, through foreign lands, exotic tongues, trials and tribulations, they waited patiently for their turn.
25/07/2017 22:55:29The desk beckoned. The author looked up. All planned questions went from their minds, like some mental vacuum cleaner, leaving the single sentence:
25/07/2017 22:55:29Attempt N at mobile productivity of words.
25/07/2017 22:55:29"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING OF WITH CHAPTER 47?"
05/12/2013 08:54:49and 56,000 feet.
05/12/2013 08:54:491 lightening talk.
05/12/2013 08:54:491 feature film (credited)
23/03/2012 15:58:32Rinse and repeat. At glacial speed.
23/03/2012 15:58:32Another year, another post. This is possibly the most minimal blog system ever, by both volume *and* frequency.
23/03/2012 15:58:322 projects now public, the next one in build, one still in minimal alpha.
14/03/2011 22:05:58and thus, available spare time goes even faster. Currently 2 sideprojects in alpha, 2 in skunkworks level.
14/03/2011 22:05:58Sooner or later there'll be enough time to update this more than once every N months. Or did I say that circa 7 years ago?
14/11/2010 09:12:56As a storage system, is that raid0 stripe, or raid1 mirror?
06/10/2010 11:54:59RAID sets. Because storage dies.
06/10/2010 11:54:59Noises You Don't Want To Hear From A Hard Drive
06/10/2010 11:54:59Clank, clank, clank.
25/09/2010 23:16:07Do It Like You Mean It...
25/09/2010 23:16:07...or don't do it at all.
21/09/2010 12:42:37Workplace (Social) Science Experiment.
21/09/2010 12:42:37This will tell you more about your co-workers and/or management than you could possibly imagine.
21/09/2010 12:42:373) At end of the week, count people with only one nostril.
21/09/2010 12:42:372) Mix together, and leave in a small bag in your meeting room.
21/09/2010 12:42:371) Get some talc and some caustic soda.
17/09/2010 14:04:04Unused cable management arms are surprisingly versatile as weapons and/or torture devices and/or comedy props. All sarcasm^wsystem administrators should keep one by their desk.
17/09/2010 14:04:04Iain M Banks would be proud.
13/08/2010 14:26:59There goes the day.
13/08/2010 14:26:59Fri 13: Other Sysadmin has recursively chown'd / to himself on $work's staging box. Goodbye sanity in /etc, /sbin, /usr/sbin and friends.
08/08/2010 17:30:04Yes! Yes! Squeak! Bounce!
08/08/2010 17:30:04FAKE PORN SOUNDTRACK: When your foreign next-door neighbours buy a trampoline for their kids, and then the adults have a go.
29/07/2010 10:05:47IREWALL (n): Social device used by technically competent people to avoid being mobbed by loads of time vampires^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Huser requests.
29/07/2010 10:05:47Batfink-Fu.
20/07/2010 12:57:50Women/SHOES FALE.
20/07/2010 12:57:50Telco FALE.
20/07/2010 12:57:50THP Fourth Law of Datacentre Runs
20/07/2010 12:57:50So far, we've had:
20/07/2010 12:57:50Power FALE.
20/07/2010 12:57:50I'm waiting for the ubertriple:
20/07/2010 12:57:50And then something else will break, thus rendering your original fix totally wrong due to being the wrong side of the new problem.
19/07/2010 15:53:18THP Third law of datacentre runs
19/07/2010 15:53:18Naturally, by the time you've got everything up and running, the problem that you're trying to fix, has fixed itself.
19/07/2010 12:07:09THP Second Law of Datacentre Runs
19/07/2010 12:07:09 An email containing a critical IP address will take ages to arrive, OR get eaten by a subsystem somewhere.
22/06/2010 14:07:27Glastoroute part 1: 'Escape From New Shopping Centre"
22/06/2010 14:07:27Driving round Toys R Us car park with yodelling cowboys on the stereo. As you do.
29/05/2010 17:29:14From pub session with the in-laws: "How many toy-boys are there in the Salvation Army?"
29/05/2010 16:16:39Is when you're in the pub, and a man walks past the window with a lobster in a box.
29/05/2010 16:16:39Going Local
09/05/2010 20:24:16Win: Cisco 2500s firing up for the first time in 10 years no problems.
09/05/2010 20:24:16Lose: Having to remember the "enable" passwords after 10 years...
09/05/2010 20:24:16Impressive hardware, less impressive wetware...
06/05/2010 22:03:34Xbox day
06/05/2010 22:03:34POLLING STATION: where you remember what schools smell like, and possibly trigger nam-style flashbacks involving toilets and goldfish.
03/05/2010 18:04:14Parental control at village fairs.
03/05/2010 18:04:14"If you're good, you can ride the donkey. If you're bad, the donkey can ride you."
22/04/2010 09:34:05Rule 1 that everyone seems to forget:
22/04/2010 09:34:05Otherwise you'll be wondering why nothing works the way you expect. It's always fun when people forget to renew their domain then wonder why their site stops working.
22/04/2010 09:34:05Interwebz SEOh, and the Joys of Level 8 protocol.
16/04/2010 10:06:14doof doof doof + VAT = *kerching*
16/04/2010 10:06:14Invoice-frenzy day, fueled by cheap coffee and techno on the decks behind me. Next mix will be "Music to bill to."
08/04/2010 14:25:47THP Law of datacentre runs
08/04/2010 14:25:47A watched disk check never completes. However, a non-watched disk check always required manual intervention...
27/01/2010 11:03:23THP Law of E-Commerce
27/01/2010 11:03:23Pick any 2.
27/01/2010 11:03:23Fast. Cheap. PCI-Compliant.
05/01/2010 12:19:37VAT changes.
05/01/2010 12:19:37Two VATs don't make a right. They do, however, make an excellent way of disposing of "the evidence".
02/12/2009 14:23:03\o/ for certain values of /o\
02/12/2009 14:23:03Sadly, that's the best thing about today.
16/11/2009 15:43:39Then you're entirely accurate in saying "Vista? I'm sorry, I've never used it. Have you tried ringing the people you bought the machine from?"
16/11/2009 15:43:39Tactically, its worth using a version of windows that's at least one major release *behind* that of your "customer".
16/11/2009 15:43:39Relative TechSupport, how can I confuse you?
04/11/2009 11:30:06Locate the only spare mains socket, and blag a 4way from the guys running the sound desk....
04/11/2009 11:30:06Instant popularity at Nominet conerence (lesson 1)
26/09/2009 12:22:24I'm in the wrong dayjob, obviously.
26/09/2009 11:35:30Naming of offspring.
26/09/2009 11:35:30Its actually pretty easy. Call the first one 'miracle', the second one 'backup', and the third one 'whoops'. Job done.
17/08/2009 11:06:14FALE NOW ON. ALL CONFIG MUST GO.
17/08/2009 11:06:14Amazingly, you can't do "sudo -u root bash" on a Cisco PIX, no matter how many times you try.
13/08/2009 15:28:35Then you can stop.
13/08/2009 15:28:35Surprisingly disruptive. Part 3
13/08/2009 15:28:35If there *isn't* a hoover in earshot, start humming anyway. With luck other people will join in.
13/08/2009 15:28:35An extension of "Surprisingly disruptive. Part 2":
06/08/2009 10:30:02Surprisingly disruptive. Part 2
06/08/2009 10:30:02If you hear a hoover running in the background, gently hum along with it.
02/08/2009 14:56:16Basically the same as festivals, apart from you generally don't need to sleep on your wallet or go for a crap with a headtorch.
23/07/2009 08:28:14POWERPOINT GROAN (n): Noise uttered by webdesigner when given shite by prospective client.
14/07/2009 08:09:11POWER CUT: Wonderful event that forces web-2.doh types to actually talk to each other instead of sitting on MSN.
10/07/2009 08:21:53When someone starts a sentence with "I got an email" break in with "Yay!" before they can get the next bit out.
10/07/2009 08:21:53Surprisingly disruptive. Part 1
10/07/2009 08:21:53Doing the Wallace+Grommit-hands is optional.
27/06/2009 10:06:24So far, I seem to have taken out Jade Goody and Michael Jackson. Any requests?
27/06/2009 10:06:24MISSION: Say $IMPRESSIVE_WORDS on $SPECIAL_DAY
27/06/2009 10:06:24I'm currently at 2 for 2 on celebrity takedown - the workcycle goes as follows:
27/06/2009 10:06:243) $CELEBRITY dies before $SPECIAL_DAY
27/06/2009 10:06:242) Include joke about $CELEBRITY
27/06/2009 10:06:241) Draft $IMPRESSIVE_WORDS
30/04/2009 08:50:23CV FAIL: "I am a web producer who strives for high quality. My skills: HTML and Protoshop."
22/03/2009 13:45:47http://content.vacuum.net/cgi/cal.cgi
22/03/2009 13:45:47Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so...
22/03/2009 13:45:47The week now runs: "Monday? Tuesday? WTF?"
22/03/2009 13:45:47Another quick tool escapeth. In the Run-Up, its easier to jump online to check requirements for days off.
06/02/2009 14:02:47for the first time, something actually useful - http://ip.vacuum.net - hopefully without too many screaming security holes in it. Because dnsstuff.com is too bloated for crackberet usage.
06/02/2009 14:02:47code escape
29/12/2008 01:50:56You know when you spend too much time on the decks in a single timeframe, when you listen to your own mixes on playback and skip thru the tracks to doublecheck how badly/well you did the mixes.
29/12/2008 01:50:56It's like recording TV, skipping thru the program, and watching the cornerblip and the adverts.
29/12/2008 01:50:56Duh. That one snuck up on me.
29/12/2008 01:50:56Dammit.
25/12/2008 15:59:31Oh, and Merry Xmyth, if anyone's readig this on 25/12/08.
25/12/2008 15:59:31In further efforts of epic overkill in hosting this site, we now have a second host handling high-bandwith (aka DJ mix MP3s) and experimental (aka badly written CGI scripts) content.
25/12/2008 15:59:31Even more automation, even less content.
25/12/2008 15:59:31content.vacuum.net is up and if not running, then at least walking unaided.
23/11/2008 14:30:51Test image
23/11/2008 14:30:51...and a snare-rush.
21/11/2008 16:53:57aka: Adding more network test CGIs to the frontside, then commenting about said CGIs in the blog.
21/11/2008 16:53:57More automation, less content
21/11/2008 16:53:57At this rate I'll end up writing a CGI that comments about itself, and I can go down the pub. Job done.
16/11/2008 15:51:08Who's caning the server space?
16/11/2008 15:51:08(as its the most common one I quote to people)
07/11/2008 21:37:41fEEEdback
07/11/2008 21:37:41deb http://xnv4.xandros.com/xs2.0/upkg-srv2 etch main contrib non-free
07/11/2008 21:37:41deb http://www.debian-multimedia.org etch main
07/11/2008 21:37:41deb http://update.eeepc.asus.com/p701/en p701 main
07/11/2008 21:37:41deb http://update.eeepc.asus.com/p701 p701 main
07/11/2008 21:37:41apt-get update
07/11/2008 21:37:41apt-get liblame0
07/11/2008 21:37:41apt-get audacity
07/11/2008 21:37:41and as per most other docs, set your working directories to a removeable device (8 gig SD chips are cheap now, anything else is a false economy), and aim Audacity's mp3 export prefs at /usr/lib/libmp3lame.so.0.0.0 - and done.
07/11/2008 21:37:41Works nicely. There's been a few posts on the net with people having trouble getting the above combination working. My recipe (assuming standard EEE Xandros distro on an EEEPC701, and no farting about compiling anything):
07/11/2008 21:37:41Su to root, edit /etc/apt/sources.list as below:
07/11/2008 21:37:41Next stop, learning to beatmatch.
07/11/2008 21:37:41EEE laptop + Audacity + DJ mixer + line-in + vinyl decks.
07/11/2008 21:37:41# to get lame (mp3) support for audacity
07/11/2008 21:37:41# added to get the bulk of debian-ish packages
07/11/2008 21:37:41# Standard repos
27/09/2008 14:02:12PARAFOIL KITES:a method of transporting sand from beach to beach in the UK.
16/09/2008 14:08:24c) Vote in general elections
16/09/2008 14:08:24b) Drive cars
16/09/2008 14:08:24a) Breed
16/09/2008 14:08:24The scary thing is, these people are allowed to:
16/09/2008 14:08:24EPIC MULTIPLE FAIL:
16/09/2008 14:08:24Clarity.
16/09/2008 14:08:242) Staging or live?
16/09/2008 14:08:24$account manager: "Has $coworker told you to upload anything today?"
04/09/2008 14:31:30PODCASTS: Because you failed to get on local/hospital/student radio for being too egomanical.
04/09/2008 14:31:30Gabbling into the mike.
01/09/2008 12:48:38Private password-protected website areas
01/09/2008 12:48:38...are password-protected for that reason, so the public aren't allowed access. Note *private* in the above.
22/08/2008 09:34:33TAG CLOUD: When a website has Tourette syndrome.
31/05/2008 18:31:40Catching crabs whilst on holiday.
31/05/2008 18:31:40All it takes is a bag of seafood risotto.
28/05/2008 19:00:04Yer local offie is yer friend.
28/05/2008 19:00:04They say "you can't go home again". What they don't say is "a round will be fecking expensive if you do".
28/05/2008 19:00:04Legacy update.
27/05/2008 18:31:36When sending email with a crackberry, "redhat" becomes "redgay" with weld precognition turned on.
18/05/2008 04:13:34Oh yes. f*ck yes. Bring on Glade Festival 2008, this year's going to be an absolute belter.
07/05/2008 13:00:26Says it all, really.
07/05/2008 13:00:26Automated announcement on the Picadilly line, at Kings Cross:
07/05/2008 13:00:26"This station is Leicester Square."
04/05/2008 11:17:27stylistically, this is less "making waves", more "water-skiiing off the back of the boat".
04/05/2008 11:17:27and now with css. 456 bytes of the stuff, but enough to make this site asfetic^H^H^H^H^H^Haethist^H^H^H^H^Hblingy for people who whine about that kind of thing, and still keep the speed high.
04/05/2008 11:17:27also, some originations of why and wherefore "vacuum.net" - and some links to/from projects old and current, in a vague attempt to get more interest in antibodymx.net. yay for blatant commercialism.
25/04/2008 15:09:35The travellers friend. Ideal for quick repairs to shoes, baggage, and other peoples noisy uncontrolled chavbrats.
25/04/2008 15:09:35Gaffertape.
22/03/2008 10:21:48it works from teh crackberry too.
22/03/2008 10:21:48The real butch as ever is isrenames and passworfs...
22/03/2008 10:21:48Altho the predictive text takes some getting used to. That said, if you ignore the screen and just type, it seems to generally right.
22/03/2008 10:02:26quoted from the first Google hit for "test text". Which explains where a lot of the spambots that try to break baesyian filtering.
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22/03/2008 10:02:26Updated WHAT input method 3
22/03/2008 10:02:26Final set of tweaks.
22/03/2008 09:57:25Updated WHAT input method 2.
22/03/2008 09:57:25Still more tweaks.
22/03/2008 09:57:25Second paragraph.
22/03/2008 09:51:44Updated WHAT input method.
22/03/2008 09:51:44So it be slightly saner when throwing out long posts. (should there ever be long posts).
22/03/2008 09:51:44Minor updates to the code, we're still not using a purple database, but there's better formatting in the output, with hacking about with the output engine.
21/12/2007 13:50:59It even works from a crackberry whilst stuck on a train in the arse end of nowhere.....
18/03/2007 09:11:17That's......... weird.
25/02/2007 00:05:10LiveJournal
25/02/2007 00:05:10 Livejournal: When your journal, frankly, needs to get a life. And by association, so do you.
21/02/2007 17:42:56RSS. Because you have fantasies about being a newsreader.
11/02/2007 11:00:49Possibly the smallest blog in the world.
21/10/2006 13:44:49and it works from a nkia tablet thing
21/10/2006 13:44:49alto the word completion takes some getting used to.
08/06/2006 18:44:39Gprs is a bit mental, but nokia 6230i to web page with low bandwidth pages is quite neat. Now, no time to edit content but the ability to publish from anywhere...
20/11/2005 00:16:03around and being thrown for fun. Just about crewing still.
20/11/2005 00:16:03I'd say "what the hell happened to everything", but either
20/11/2005 00:16:03DJing on an ad-hoc basis. Kites when possible.
20/11/2005 00:16:03Back in London for a year. Running a company. Throwing people
20/11/2005 00:16:03And still there's no time to add to this thing....
16/03/2005 21:33:28work on end up falling by the wayside...)
16/03/2005 21:33:28go flat out for a year, and the pet projects you start
16/03/2005 21:33:28One day, there'll be enough time to add content.
16/03/2005 21:33:28(Always the way. Take over running a company, relocate,
23/02/2004 00:47:24with her, same difference.
23/02/2004 00:47:24jumpers from department stores, or run around screaming.
23/02/2004 00:47:24in effect, a waste of time if your GPS can't get a good
23/02/2004 00:47:24hole, or Aneka Rice. But you don't have to wear bad
23/02/2004 00:47:24fondling her arse, and the nonces in the studio.
23/02/2004 00:47:24find your balls, rather than sinking them in a suitable
23/02/2004 00:47:24enough lock on enough satellites to say where you are
23/02/2004 00:47:24correctly. So I gave up and went kite flying instead.
23/02/2004 00:47:24and a website to the mix, and you've got something that is
23/02/2004 00:47:24Then: Add tupperware, colostomy bags, GPS systems, geeks,
23/02/2004 00:47:24Take the idea of hide and seek, or Treasure Hunt.
23/02/2004 00:47:24Remove Aneka Rice yelling "STOP THE COCK". Clock. Well,
23/02/2004 00:47:24It's a bit like golf, but spending all your time trying to
23/02/2004 00:47:24Geocrapping
23/02/2004 00:47:24Anyway. Remove her, and her jumpsuit, and the cameraman
31/01/2004 20:21:40that actually brings beans in. That, and if your SO lives
31/01/2004 20:21:40one can spend taking photos, crewing gigs, or doing stuff
31/01/2004 20:21:40Ducking the "crap photos" issue by using "crap automation"
31/01/2004 20:21:40150 miles away, that's the weekends gone with regards geek productivity)
31/01/2004 20:21:40(But, that said, there's more to life than geek...)
31/01/2004 20:21:40(AKA: The less that needs to be done manually, the more time
13/12/2003 20:50:41wetware limitation is something I can train myself around)
13/12/2003 20:50:41that you've had it in "macro" mode all the time...
13/12/2003 20:50:41taken with your digital camera are out of focus, is
13/12/2003 20:50:41matters, though..)
13/12/2003 20:50:41it's pointed out to you that the reason all the shots
13/12/2003 20:50:41human error. Bad lighting, finger in shot, &tc, are other
13/12/2003 20:50:41You know when you've had a brainfart for a month, when
13/12/2003 20:50:41Gah! <-- insert stupidity here.
13/12/2003 20:50:41(Still, at least it's not a hardware limitation - a
13/12/2003 20:50:41(More imporatantly, future shots woun't succumb to that
28/11/2003 04:18:04renders the plane a tad useless)
28/11/2003 04:18:04out from the control stalk, and it's up and running.
28/11/2003 04:18:04and they start being force-fed air to get the plane home
28/11/2003 04:18:04and keep the human contents of the plane alive. This was a
28/11/2003 04:18:04all passengers are dead after 30 seconds.
28/11/2003 04:18:04air. (Assuming cockpit pressure failure, which kind of
28/11/2003 04:18:04That's the price of Supersonic. Which is why only the *best*
28/11/2003 04:18:04Respect to those who did it for the Kicks rather than going
28/11/2003 04:18:04Pointy thing comes in. aka HOW FAST CAN YOU AFFORD TO GO?
28/11/2003 04:18:04Pilots grab and slam over head. It then deflates to form-fit
28/11/2003 04:18:04If there's a cabin/cockpit pressure failure, that means
28/11/2003 04:18:04For "home", insert major vertical dive of aircraft nosewards
28/11/2003 04:18:04Count to 7. Do it, in terms of "One thousand two thousand"
28/11/2003 04:18:04Concorde cruise altitude: 60,000 ft. Edge-o-Space [tm]
28/11/2003 04:18:04By that time, probably around 3, the equivalent to the facemask of airbag comes
28/11/2003 04:18:04As viewable in the artistic bit. Now, here's an interesting
28/11/2003 04:18:04After 7 seconds, the pilots will have passed out due to no
28/11/2003 04:18:04(There was, apparantly, an interesting decision for the top
28/11/2003 04:18:04 will *always* outnumber the Beans.
28/11/2003 04:18:04 to planet, at mach $WHATEVER, to hit around 10,000ft to
28/11/2003 04:18:04 represent BA Pilots at Board Level, or you can pilot Concorde")
28/11/2003 04:18:04 pull outta the dive, and ensure that everyone on board stays
28/11/2003 04:18:04 pilots of BA - "You can become a Director of the Board and
28/11/2003 04:18:04 for the Beans. The Kicks and being able to say "I did this"
28/11/2003 04:18:04 alive.
28/11/2003 04:18:04 BA pilots got to fly it. Cos they were shipping the
28/11/2003 04:18:04 "important" people from coast to coast.
28/11/2003 02:53:06Just a sanitycheck post-taintchecking that this still works.
11/11/2003 00:03:19MTV Awards
11/11/2003 00:03:19Justin Timberlake: "I'm glad I won this award and not
11/11/2003 00:03:19INSERT BRANE THERE. [tm]
20/10/2003 00:58:37And it works from the Palm...
20/10/2003 00:58:37 Quite fast in reponse, too, on a 9600 link.... dunno how it'll handle wordwrap.
19/10/2003 21:17:09First, there was HTML and the link, now we have the graphic..
19/10/2003 21:17:09This site is valid
19/10/2003 21:17:09(This should prove interesting in the search results and table..)
19/10/2003 21:11:52line on which the tags reside. Oh well, nil desperandum, &tc.
19/10/2003 21:11:52Stress-testing results part 1...
19/10/2003 21:11:52Hmm. Bunging tags in makes the search break should the search hit the
19/10/2003 21:08:43which should bung us a URL.
19/10/2003 21:08:43it's not the demented raisin for this thing...)
19/10/2003 21:08:43Stress-testing part 1.
19/10/2003 21:08:43Here we try to break the system. First off, throwing HTML in:
19/10/2003 21:08:43Main site
19/10/2003 20:51:36them yet and wouldn;t hang around 5 minutes if they met them in
19/10/2003 20:51:36real life...)
19/10/2003 20:51:36not the kind of people who associate with people that don't know
19/10/2003 20:51:36no "friends" lists (the target audience of this is for people who
19/10/2003 20:51:36hate everyone and by default may not have many friends, certainly
19/10/2003 20:51:36custom client, no "smiley" graphics for people who can't use words,
19/10/2003 20:51:36YAY! I HAVE NOT REINVENTED THE LIVEJOURNAL!
19/10/2003 20:51:36Well, sorta. In as much as it's going to for v-1 - No shite HTML, no
19/10/2003 20:25:56or possibly "a load of turds are your arouser". That said, there's a
19/10/2003 20:25:56market for that kind of thing, judging by the amount of pr0n spam
19/10/2003 20:25:56around these days.
19/10/2003 20:25:56Which is a marginal improvement on "Douglas Hurd down your trouser"
19/10/2003 20:25:56It's a load of words in your browser.
19/10/2003 20:03:46Work, dammit!
19/10/2003 20:03:46GAAAAH!
19/10/2003 18:48:17This entry contains a fish.
19/10/2003 18:48:17I am now going even more minimal 10 seconds later.
19/10/2003 18:28:37I am now going even more minimal 10 seconds later.
19/10/2003 18:28:11I am now going even more minimal 90 seconds later.
19/10/2003 18:20:55I am now going even more minimal 60 seconds later.
19/10/2003 18:20:30I am now going minimal.

Click whatever seems to make sense, or search for something:

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